What future for me ?

Hi , long time did'nt come blogging here . How about my life ? I am face a big exam SPM now , actually im not scare of this . Because is gonna finish , again three subject i have gonna finish my school life . The time is really fast , im already 18 years old . After SPM , i should find a job , i have to earn more and more money , i need money so much . I've to make myself become a beautiful girl , this is my wish . I hope i can improve my languge - English . I really love the languge of English . Because it is not hard and standard . I don't know how about my future , is it wonderful or nothing at all . Should be what i want ? God blessing me please .

Haiz , sometimes i was no confidence , my best friends is always had a courage to plan their future , but i have nothing to do to my future . Sigh# What's gonna happend to my future , i was blind to my future , nothing to my future , is darkness ! If can choose , i hope i got a good husband , he can protect me forever . Now i had . but is it can keep forever ? Previous untill now , i always rely my family and my friend include my boyfriend . I know i can't keep like that , but i really can't to change , sometimes i was hate myself , why i so useless !? Nothing is success , always make people to disappointed , what also failure .. Sigh#

School look :)